Recently I took some time off from blogging and speaking to gain clarity about a few things... After much seeking, I came to a profound conclusion. Let me share.
Has anyone every told you to "Follow your dreams", or "If you work hard enough you can have whatever you want"?
I have. AND for one reason or another I have found these statements to be unhelpful.
You know what my dream is? I want to be Batman. Some diminishing part of me still thinks that if I start working out, learn karate and outfit my Honda with rocket launchers, I could be the Dark Knight, vanquishing evil in the seedy, crime-ridden enclaves of Tempe, Arizona. And in the middle of that dream stands my wife, who punches me in the face and says, "First of all, you don't work out and your hamstrings are too tight to execute a convincing roundhouse kick. Plus, there's not much crime here. What are you going to do, push long boarders off the sidewalks?" Yes, it's a dream, but the point is the reality of the dream.
We all have dreams... things that we want, and things we aspire to accomplish in a lifetime.
But I think it's detrimental to believe that if WE want something bad enough WE can have it. Or we should have. OR WE DESERVE TO HAVE IT!
Our society sets the stage for this burning-bridge philosophy. I don't know how many times a day I hear something about how you can do anything if you put your mind to it. How many times have you seen the clips from Britain/America's Got Talent? There is always some average person, who works at McDonalds, who comes on stage and busts out this crazy opera piece, and then... que the TEARS + CHEERS!
It makes you feel great, but is it sending the wrong message?
I think so... and I will tell you why.
If everyone followed their dreams, whether they are realistic or not, we would have mass destruction! Unbelievable selfishness.
"FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS" is a very selfish mentality. Think about it... how many people in this country have gained everything from thinking of no one but themselves? Um... like... everyone?!
Most dreams are selfish. When I went into speaking I wanted to be BIG TIME! oh... and I wanted to help others too... but mostly BIG TIME BABY!
I was stupid... and all the success I've had was with great sacrifice!
Seriously, I have spent a lot of my life following my dreams... or other people's dreams. Under the belief that I could achieve anything if I worked hard enough. Anything... "I"... I could do anything... but what happens... when we can't? Or shouldn't?
"So what you're trying to say Marcus... is that you're like... the WORST motivational speaker of all time! Don't follow my dreams?"
NO! Don't get me all wrong, I think dreams are cool, but I just think that we have gone about it in a selfish way. Or at least I have.
Recently, I have asked the question, what happens when it doesn't work out. What happens if we never achieve our dreams? What happens if we just aren't smart enough, or attractive enough, or good enough? Then what? Dreams become disappointments that can further us from moving forward, and ultimately placing others before ourselves.
Thinking about dreams has made me look at my life differently. Once I stopped thinking about myself and my dreams... I was stuck looking at what was left... and I didn't see much. Scary...
I started thinking about what my life's purpose was if I didn't have a dream to chase. It's encouraged to have have an IDEAL in mind, and go after it with everything we have. So I took a break, from everything, and tried to find an answer to the age old question, what is the purpose of my life?
I came to a conclusion... IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!
My purpose in this world was never to follow MY dreams. The purpose of my life is to NOT FOLLOW MY DREAM, but to follow HIS.
We have to have a greater purpose, one that is outside of ourselves, our own motivations... We need to use our talents and gifts or our profession as a vehicle to a greater purpose. If we continue to follow "our" dreams we get to a place when we achieve them... and then the question sets in... NOW WHAT?
I hope you get to the NOW WHAT part of you life soon. There's amazing clarity when you actually obtain you dreams and realize that there has to be more than this.
Keep It Real.
Murph
