From Courtship to Court

Then...





Now...




We’ve come a long way. From “Goin Steady” to “Steady Goin”. What happened to teen dating?

I would love to start this sentence with back in my day, but back in my day was only ten years ago. Oh wise one, tell me the secrets of dating… HMM. I CAN share my various views about dating with no strings attached. Sound good? Great.

“I’m like so in love with him… or whatever.”

When did love become a fad? Dating has become so casual I can only compare it to that of a fashion trend. If you change relationships like you do your hair style, then this article is for YOU.

How many times have you been in love? Do you know the definition of love? My gut tells me LOVE is overused, devalued, and disrespected.

What about using the term? I love my wife. I love hot dogs. Same meaning? Maybe for some, but not me.

So, why do we date?

I believe dating should be entered with the M-word in mind - Marriage, to clarify for my slow homies. I write this knowing my audience are teens. Are you getting married at 16? Hopefully not. So what does this mean for you?

We wonder why marriage is such a joke in this country? It's because we treat the process of finding a mate in the same way. We get in the cycle of trying people on for size. AND if they don't fit, we move on to the next.

If these are the standards for dating, why are we surprised by the divorce rate? If we don't change the way we date, the idea of marriage to one person FOREVER won't even be comprehensible.

American culture is all about making you believe you're here on this earth to satisfy and please YOU and you only. Think that plays into the U.S. having the highest divorce rate and the highest rate of single parenting in the Western world? Betta believe it.

I, like many, come from a home of divorce. There is no simple or convenient way to explain the pain and hurt divorce causes in the lives of everyone involved. I'm not saying there's only one reason people get divorced. BUT, I definitely think marriage has been jaded by the "convenience" of dating without purpose.

My challenge isn't easy... but please try dating with a purpose. Don't do it for me, do it for your heart. Start making the right decisions now, and you'll be in an incredible position down the road.

Do it for your future HUSBAND/WIFE.

You're worth it, and so are they.

Keep It Real.

Murph

Doing Stupid Things, Doesn't Mean You're Stupid

How can someone so smart be so dumb? We’ve all asked this question after watching a perfectly intelligent friend or relative pull a boneheaded move.

You know what I'm talkin' about...that one time when your boy decided it was a GREAT idea to skateboard off the roof! How is he the same guy who gave the valedictorian speech at graduation?! Yea...

People buy high and sell low. They believe their horoscope. They figure it can’t happen to them. They supersize their fries and order the diet Coke. They text while driving. They believe they'll live forever.

You’ve done something similarly stupid. So have I. BUT does this make us stupid?

Stupid is defined as: lacking ordinary quickness and keenness of mind; dull.


I believe that we have "moments" of stupidity throughout our life, but I rarely find someone that fits this description all the time.

These are the top 5 reasons I believe "stupid" happens.

1) Boredom.
2) Tiredness.
3) Love.
4) Fear.
5) Anger.

As you can see, they're all emotions or a state of mind. Emotions drive us to most, if not all, our decisions in life. We run, laugh, love, hug, heal, and fight our way through life! And sometimes that means that we make stupid choices.

The only scary part is when stupid choices leave us hurt and broken. As a teenager you are faced with these situations daily. Jumping in a car with the wrong group of people. Dating two people at the same time. Dating the wrong people. Pranks. Wearing socks with sandals...you know, the important stuff.

Let me end with some advice.

Stupidity isn't about the first time something happens, it's the second... third... fourth time. By then, it's become a habit, and likely one you need to kick.

Keep It Real.

Murph

If You're Not First, You're last!

I don't often hear, "I can't wait to be second!" But what's the point of going fast, being first, and working ourselves to death?

Like Bobby Valentino said, " Slow Down"!

As human beings we are naturally competitive - survival of the fittest? It's human nature to adapt, to strive to survive. BUT our society isn't gathering berries and hunting for our food anymore (well I can't speak for Texas). If I'm hungry, I get in my comfortable car, drive my butt down to the local burger joint (for your satisfaction I hope it's an In N Out Burger), I DON"T EVEN HAVE TO GET OUT OF THE CAR to order. In fact, I could order from my phone, while tweeting the whole experience!

So in a life that's very much handed to us, what's our drive to strive?

I admit, competition runs through my veins. But one of the best lessons I've learned in life is how to lose.

Losing. Failing. Mistakes. Pain.

Failing is essential to success, but we have to be "failing forward".

No one can succeed without failing.

Michael Jordan, arguably the best player of all time, six NBA championships, 11 MVP"s and still he had to fail to get there.

Most people see failure at face value - i.e., failure. However, if you search deeper, you discover failure is in fact, an opportunity to grow. Failure ]the[n becomes a resource.

A baby can't walk until they fall over and over again. A basketball player will miss several shots in a single game in the midst of 13 points. A writer will have much of her work rejected by editors than published.

Successful people don't focus on the things that didn't work. Instead, they understand that with each "failure" they are one step closer to achieving their dreams. They may have to try once or one-thousands times before hitting the mark, but they know each unsuccessful effort is pushing them closer to their goal.

There is a MAJOR difference between people who fail and people who use failure to succeed. Their ATTITUDE! They succeed because they NEVER gave up!

Get out there and start failing, to win.

Keep It Real.

Murph